Sometimes, It Only Hits You When You Look Directly In Their Eyes.

It’s 3AM in Chicago right now. I got into my airbnb not too long ago and went and got some food and some snacks. As I let some idle time pass between my meal and sleep, I started to think about what life has become for myself, my loved ones, the people who put time into supporting my friends and myself. I don’t want to make this post too long – but I’m starting to develop my own form of disdain towards various social media platforms, and I remembered that this was put here originally for me to share some of the same thoughts I’m having right now.

My gratitude for the community of individuals who have gathered on this website to help and uplift eachother has no bounds. I never thought that I’d live to see a community get developed online that moderates itself, all the individuals share a common ground of wanting to be heard and also give eachother the space to talk. Originally when I made this, my main fear was that this would get into the hands of people with too much time on their hands and nothing good to say, but I was proven wrong in the most pleasant way.

I purposefully stopped checking into the website, because I wanted to see what type of life this could develop as its own independent entity – because the message that I wanted to exist here has always been so much bigger than any individual. more and more lately, there’s this balance of ego, self-awareness, and insecurity where validation means nothing and everything at the same time. That’s really hard to admit because I’ve spent a lot of my adult life avoiding the idea of validation affirming anything in my head or my heart, it should just be. And that’s how I originally wanted this platform to exist. With that in mind, after this was put into the world, I tried my best to make sure that it was always centered and focused around those who needed it, not who created it.

I started making websites when I was around 14 – a message board I used to learn music production techniques and chat about music on had went down, and I found a free Invision Power Board script that allowed me to make websites and message boards about anything I wanted, and I always tried to make these new communities for musicians and producers to come together. Maybe I’ll try that again one day — but I think that what this website, specifically one page on it, has become is a childhood dream come true for me. I try to stay away from numbers games and whatnot, but since this website was shared with the world, theres been over 1 million unique visits and over 50,000 unique people who have entered that chat room – whether it was to read, or to post, or to just see what was going on. I just wanna tell you all thank you. I hope one day it hits you that you all are a part of something so much bigger than yourselves, and you all made a little boy’s dream to connect with the world come true in the wildest way he could ever imagine.